Travelling with toys and other unmentionables

Traveling makes it hard to have sex. And no, I don't mean getting initiated into the mile high club.Airline travel with sex toys and similar items has always been a bit of a gong show, but since 9/11, exactly five years ago today, and the on-going terrorist threats, the no carry-on reins have been pulled even tighter, especially when crossing borders.Gone are the days of toting an innocuous tube of K-Y jelly in your carry-on bag (no gels allowed). But sex toys have always come under immense scrutiny; whether they pass the checks or not seems to come down to the subjective approval of one security person versus another.Every sex toy I know of has no sharp edges or can in any way can harm a fellow passenger (unless we are speaking of S & M playthings, and that's a completely different arena).And what about those poor, innocent people with their "strategically" placed piercing(s) who trigger the metal detector, and are pulled over to be searched? What a nightmare.What started this rant? I recently read about the U.S. fellow who claimed he had a bomb in his bag because he didn't want to let his mother to know he was toting a penis pump."Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man travelling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey," CNN reported. "So he told security it was a bomb."OK, so Mr. Pump isn't the sharpest dude.However, in 2002, on the way home from a vacation in Las Vegas, Renee Koutsouradis's newly purchased vibrator made a racket in her checked luggage. She was made to go out to the tarmac, in full view of other passengers, and hold up the vibrator while Delta personnel laughed hysterically and made comments such as, "Doesn't your husband satisfy you?" She did press charges.Granted, this type of incident is rare. But it does raise a point. If airline personnel were to pull out other personal effects (such tampons), wave them around in full view and make inappropriate remarks, Koutsouradis's case would have become a huge harassment suit.If her personal item happens to be a vibrator, why should it be treated any different?The quick and easy solution would be not to pack anything sex related. I, of course, have a problem with this. Many a couple has planned a romantic getaway or wild weekend. Why should they change their plans and their potential fun because a security guard might get squirmy around their sex toys?I'm in no way saying security and immigration officers shouldn't be doing their job. Being alert and asking questions about non-traditional carry-on items is a good thing. Yet there needs to be a more unbiased judgment and respect, because it is not illegal to take sex toys onto airplanes.What can you do if you want to take your toy on a trip? First off, use your common sense. Remove all batteries so they don't accidentally get turned on. For all the other things without mechanical parts, packing should not be as much of an issue.Believe it or not, I suggest carrying on your paraphernalia. And instead of getting embarrassed and mumbling lies about it being a gag gift, medical device or a bomb, tell the truth.Sex educator Cory Silverberg (www.sexuality.about.com) writes: "I have travelled from Canada to the U.S., Mexico and the U.K. dozens of times with sex toys for workshops, and I know lots of other sex educators who have done the same and none of us (we're a mix of genders, colours, ages and tattooedness) have ever had trouble from security."They tend to either be embarrassed or interested. On the other hand, I've heard several stories of people's sex toys going missing from checked baggage."Honestly, it's simply a matter of looking the security person in the eye and stating the obvious: "It's a sex toy, officer."Your incentive could be the fact many sex toys come with a hefty price tag and it's pretty disappointing to have them confiscated.But, whatever you do, do not become huffy or argumentative -- you will undoubtedly get yourself red flagged and put on the no-fly list. And that's no fun at all.